I just returned from a gorgeous bridal shower. The youngest daughter of my dear friend, Carla, is getting married in a month. Jenna is not just my friend's daughter, but was also in my very first 7th grade class ever. I haven't seen her in years, but seeing her today was delightful. She is still witty, fun, beautiful, and sweet. She is still so very much that 7th grade girl that I remember laughing with in science and Bible class. It was an honor to be at her bridal shower, and I left today realizing a few things.
My first realization is that I have a bad case of serving tray envy. Jenna registered for the cutest little things. Bowls, chip and dip trays, onion choppers, turkey platters, electric skillets, and more. Everything looked absolutely gorgeous when she opened it up, but when I got home and opened my cupboards the things looked even better in my memory. I don't know how I am living like this! I dwell in a world with just one crock pot, and not even a single wine and cheese tray to lay across my bathtub. Suddenly, my kitchen looks barren, and what I do have looks old and tired...and gross. I need some sass and sparkle in my kitchen gadgets and platters. No wonder I find it so upsetting when I have to make dinner. Who could work under these conditions!?
The second thing I realized is that it has been far too long since I have been to a wedding. Really, I don't remember my last wedding. It has definitely been at least five years. I was commenting a few months ago to a friend, that we are in kind of a sad phase of life as far as our peer group goes. I remember the dating and getting married phase, where all of our friends were marrying, or soon to be. And then there was the kid phase, where everyone was pregnant with or birthing these little miracles all over the place. Now, it seems we are in the divorce phase. Couple after couple are just calling it quits. Couples that we would have thought would be forever together as they navigated the crazy twists and turns of life, are just suddenly, not. Exposure to some wedded bliss is just what I need right now. Lives overflowing with enthusiasm and hope for the future, and a belief in the ability of love to conquer all. I needed to be exposed to those rose colored, bride to be, glasses for a while.
The last thing I realize is that I need more honest, experienced, married friends. I absolutely was blown away by the words of wisdom and advice that I heard today from the shower guests, directed to the soon to be bride. Some made me laugh, some made me cry. There were sage words, about being kind and respectful, and patient...and realizing that it is not 50/50. (So don't bother keeping track.) But they all made me feel like being a married woman makes me part of an amazing club, where we all share the same secrets. Good, bad, and sometimes ugly. But that there is strength and power in sharing and honoring what we know.
A long time ago someone told me that a good marriage is 100/100. You put him first 100% of the time and he puts you first 100%...and you both live happily ever after. I wish I had remembered to put that on the card today. Oh well, there's always the wedding!
Cheers!!
