Slacker Mom

Last week a friend of mine posted a link to a blog about how its OK to not be "Super Mommy" during the Christmas season. I usually DON'T read the articles that people post, but this one had a few comments, "Thanks, I really needed that..." etc. So, naturally, I was like. "If they needed it, I might need it too," and off I went to read the article.

Well, the article was by a mom of toddlers, and it was about how you don't have to "do it all" this season. It was about giving yourself a break, and instead of trying to get every holiday activity done, just pick one to do each day. (At this point, I was thinking, "One EACH DAY? Are they kidding?") It went on to say, and I paraphrase, maybe today you get the lights hung because they are soothing to your babes, but you don't do the lights, AND the baking, AND the puzzles. "WHO would try to do lights, and baking and puzzles, just, like, on a Tuesday night?" I wondered.

The very well written, and endearing blog went on to talk about how at the end of the day, the kids want time with a happy Mommy. They don't want time with a stressed out, angry, end of her rope Mommy, who got multiple holiday activities checked off the to do list. They want to remember smiling, and laughing, and they want to remember the lovely FEELING they got being with Mom. (At this point I was like, "You know that's right. Preach." And that's when it hit me. I just might be doing ok!

I mostly feel bad about how NOT "Super Mommy" I am. We do fun holiday activities once BREAK starts, but when school is in session, I just don't have time. I am the mom who signs up to bring water bottles to the Christmas party because I know I won't have time to bake. My Elf on the Shelf really is an elf on...a shelf. He hides, he peeks, he listens. He does not zip line through an obstacle course in the living room. I know he could. I have Pinterest. When we decorate sugar cookies for Christmas, we do so after I slice the roll of dough I bought from the store. That is, if I am in a baking mood. Other times, we buy the plain sugar cookies from the grocery store bakery, and decorate those. It works for us. The kids are loving our traditions and the time we spend, but in the back of my mind, I know I am not winning Mom of the Year for being most likely to recreate Martha Stewart's holiday table setting. In short, I know my Elf could be taking bubble baths in marshmallows, and having a torrid affair with Barbie, rather than sitting on top of the TV. And so, I feel inadequate.

But that article, the one that my friend's friends "needed to read" was basically telling people to chill. It was kind of saying, cut corners, and make life easier on yourself because your kids won't care about the details. They will care about the time spent making memories with Mom. In a small way, it was saying, be less Room Mom and more Slacker Mom. And THAT my friends, is what I needed to hear. I am doing OK. When Taryn's teacher sent the email today asking us to sign up for what we could provide for the Christmas party, I had a big smile on my face as I quickly responded, "water bottles." Because nothing says Christmas like water.

Memories

My most treasured possessions are my memories.

I have memories of people that come to my head at the strangest times. My college roommate from 20 years ago will pop into my head when I hear, "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" or Hootie and the Blowfish. My suite mates come to mind when I see Kool-Aid and tiny fridges, thus reminding me that the "Kool Aid" in their tiny fridge was not Kool Aid at all. I think of my friend Sam whenever Trevor pedals his bike with training wheels, and my dearly departed Grandma Helen always comes to mind when I open a new can of cashews. Grandpa Nick is in every jazz song, and high school friend Katrina whenever I see Space Jam. I think of my friend Kelly when I see spider webs, and every time I put the recycling out. (?strange but true?) If I see an ugly dog I think of my dog Mugsy, and then I think of my old Pastor, JD, who was there with me when I found out Mugsy died, and talked so kindly to me about the death of a pet. After that I think of his lovely wife Vikki, and their two daughters who were like family to us during a big part of our childhood. "Silver Bells" makes me think of my former science teaching partner, Dana, and every time I do Taryn's hair in a "fuddy duddy" I think of my high school friend Erica, and softball games. I think of one of my middle or high school science teachers, Mr. Snow (I think) every time I do drawings for the class on my board, and Mr. Griffin whenever I have to talk to my students about being kind. Sometimes I even say, "that was a killer statement. Stamp that out, " just like I used to hate when he did. I think of my highschool PE teacher ALMOST every night when I put Trevor to bed because I always tell him to "Cuddle down". "Cover down," was a command we heard at the start of every PE class, and it is so close to what I tell Trevor, how could I not think of Mr. Plummer?

I could go on, and on and on with name after name, and the funny, sweet, happy memories that I have. Or occasionally, sad memories. But even those are a treasure. A lesson or a reminder that changed me just enough for me to remember it. These people would never know that I think of them. Other than occasional Facebook "likes" we have been relatively out of touch for sometimes 20 years! Even so, the smallest thing sparks my mind to remember them, and for a moment it takes me back. I see their face, a little snapshot of a moment we shared, and smile. Some of these people have passed away, some too soon, and some after long and blessed lives. The memories though, those live on. That's what I thank God for, most often. For the smells, sounds, and sights all around me that take me back to people and places that I sometimes think I have all but forgotten, but that through my memories are with me for always.