Best Losers Ever

When I reflect on my prayers for my kids, sometimes I giggle. I always amuse myself when I wander around inside my own head, but in particular to my prayers and dreams for my kids- well, sometimes they are somewhat odd. For example, when I was pregnant, I prayed typical prayers...let them be healthy, (10 fingers, 10 toes, etc.), but I also prayed for my kids to look alike. I even prayed this for Taryn, my first born, who obviously had no one yet to look like. It seemed normal to me, but in talking to people now, I think maybe it was an unusual concern. I remember vividly when I was pregnant with my son, who is two years younger than his sister, people asking me who I wanted him to look like. Though I mostly just wanted him to have all the appropriate working parts, since they asked I always answered, "I don't care if he looks like me or Jayme, but I hope he and his sister resemble each other." People would kind of nod and walk away, and I would think, "Is that a bad answer?" I don't know why it was so important for me to have my kids look alike, but like most things I think it goes back to my childhood.

Growing up my sister and I always looked like, well, sisters. I LOVED how that felt. I loved people calling me "Little Chrissy" and how folks would see us and say that they could tell we were related. Mind you, my sister was my hero. I realize in another set of circumstances kids might hate that...but for me, it was awesome. I also remember how my brother (who is my sister's twin -her younger sibling by a mere 20 minutes) didn't look much like either of us.

We had brown eyes, he had hazel. We had darker hair, he had lighter. When people would see my sister and brother they would always remark about how they looked NOTHING alike-especially for twins. Maybe it's because I was a kid and so, subconsciously, the world revolved around me, but I always felt bad that my brother didn't look like us. I don't know why it mattered, but I have deduced that is where my desire to have my kids resemble each other must have come from.


Another prayer I had while pregnant was that they wouldn't be geniuses, but that they would be average and hard working. I know. Who prays for their kids to be average? I do. I think this prayer came from my experiences as a teacher. I have taught lots of high IQ people that I couldn't stand to be around. They were socially awkward, never quite fitting in. Sometimes they were overconfident, and lacked the ability to empathize. Oftentimes they were lazy. They could do well without trying, so they developed bad habits and didn't do their best. I also taught a lot of amazing kids who were just average or high average in their IQ, but they had passion to do their best. They were able to make friends and interact with people. They got my jokes (which was way high up there on my list of key attributes in a person) and their work ethic made them accomplish GREAT things and develop successful habits. To me, IQ was way less important than gumption, as they say. (Yes, I now realize I could have prayed for them to be geniuses AND hard workers, but I'm no genius myself).

My most recent, somewhat odd prayer for my children is that they will be the best losers ever. Life is about way more failure than success. There are more strike outs awaiting them than home runs, and more second places than grand prizes. Just think of how many more lottery tickets are sold than winners picked. Quite frankly, not everyone gets a trophy! Hopefully my kids will get a taste of winning, but I KNOW they will get a taste of losing, and I really want them to be the best losers ever. I don't mean that they will be content with losing. I want them to hate it with every fiber in their being. But in their anger, and disappointment, in their fury and failure, I want them to stand tall, and be proud of their own efforts. I want them to have stone faces as they hold back the tears of disappointment that will later run down their cheeks, and congratulate the "better man". Then I want them to work like they have never worked before so that next time they can avoid the sting of defeat. It's not my job in life to keep them from being disappointed by losing, but to teach them that losing IS life, and not the least bit of an excuse to stop being the best. Even if it is just being the best losers ever!

"To be a good loser is to learn how to win."


*As a bonus, they DO look alike. :)