Life is Supposed to be Hard

Our move was an adventure of Jetsonian magnitude. Minus the flying car.



Life is hard.

Being a teacher at the end of the school year is hard.

Being a mom is hard.

Being a mom of a daughter who broke her foot two days before school got out is hard.

Moving is hard.

Moving the day after school ends is hard.

Moving with a kid who broke her foot three days earlier is hard.

Loading up a U-Haul trailer in June, in Florida, in the rain, in the absence of professional movers or strong civilian assistance is really hard.

Realizing that the 20 boxes you brought home from school aren't going to fit in the U-haul trailer, and fighting excessively about it with your husband is hard.

Him telling you the only way to bring your stuff is if you rent a second trailer and you also tow one behind your car, for ten hours, on I-75, with a broken daughter and 2 dogs. Hard.

Cleaning the apartment you're moving out of, in the morning, on moving day, to avoid a $250 fee, before picking up the two dogs to drive 10 hours in the back of the car with you is unimaginably hard.

Dealing with all of this while getting berated by family members because you're leaving them, well, it's nearly impossible.

Oh, and to do it with a smile on your face for your children, and joy in your heart because you believe in what you're doing...preposterous!

Things haven't been easy, but this is life, and life is supposed to be hard. I thank my parents for teaching me that. For teaching me that opportunities lurk in the shadow of obstacles, and that God speaks in a still, small voice. That no matter the bravery required, that you follow that voice and pray to find the path set before you. For us, that path didn't allow us to see around the corner or over the top of the hill, and sometimes we wondered if the path was clear at all, because it felt like maybe we were trampling through waist high grass. We weren't always confident. We weren't always calm, or kind, or pictures of peace. Sometimes I cried, and wondered if we were making a mistake, but that still small voice in my heart of hearts kept me steadfast.

Now, 14 days later, it is difficult to comprehend how seamlessly life is coming together here- the details of which give me goosebumps. That is not to say that it has been easy, because it has been full of challenging times, but it has been our heart's desire every step of the way. It has been our prayers met, our thoughts realized, and our quiet conversations coming to pass. It has been absolutely faith affirming, and I am so very grateful to be where we are today.

Tennessee. The place where God whispered for us to go to, and then faithfully brought us to. He never promised that it would be easy- just worth it.

The best is yet to come.

Inside Out

The movie Inside Out is on my mind a lot these days. When it first came out (and Trevor and I spent at least 5 minutes sobbing, at various parts) I thought it was the worst kids movie ever. I remember saying, "Thanks Pixar, for animating one kid's downward spiral into clinical depression." I like my movies happy and carefree because life is hard enough, and Inside Out was not that. It made me think. And since I didn't want to think during a kid's movie, I kind of resented it, even though I could see it's brilliance.

I put the movie in the back of mind, and just sort of inadvertently came to terms with the theme of Inside Out, which I think I have deemed to be "sadness is the key to happiness". When Joy wouldn't let Riley feel sadness, when she pushed her aside and tried to hide her out of the way, Riley couldn't cope. Instead of feeling sadness she felt anger, disgust, and fear which are much more volatile emotions. But it was Sadness that softened her. When Sadness was finally given her place, Riley's heart melted, and her loved ones could see her pain and rally around her. Anger, disgust, and fear are lonely feelings. They are defensive in nature, and try to keep us from being hurt which pushes people away and further isolates us. Sadness, however, is a bat signal for a group hug, and it draws friends and family in. Only when we show our sadness, can we clearly find the path to the happiness that we once had, or are dreaming about.

My kids picked Inside Out to watch last night before bed. We are moving in less than a week, and they wanted to watch Inside Out, an animated fictional documentrary of the world's worst move. It shows how a move breaks hearts, and friendships, and almost destroy a family. It felt like an impossible movie choice, but I just smiled and said yes. Then I reminded myself that it's ok if my kids feel sadness watching this movie. It's even ok if they feel sadness when we shake their lives around like little snow globes and move them 500 miles away. Sadness is their friend, and when I see signs of it, I will come running. I will be there to cry with them, and support them, and help them find a path to the happiness that we are all dreaming about.

Thanks, Inside Out. I like you a lot.