My grandmother, Virginia Osborn, "Ginny", ("Armee" to her grandchildren) passed away last night, March 2, 2019.
She was a stubborn, and beautiful woman in life, and I truly believe she died because she decided it was time. I watched many people try to change her mind in my lifetime, but I don't believe it ever happened. She was classy, so she would quietly listen to the opinions of others, but had a way of just saying, "Oh is that right?" or some other similar phrase which basically meant, "I have heard you out, and have not changed my mind."
We knew a few days before she passed away that she had been approved to go to hospice, and the grieving process began then. It was hard before she was gone. It was hard just knowing she was going to be gone. I know I am blessed to be 43 years old when my grandmother died. I know that her 95 years were a gift, and that I should focus on the gift and not the loss. I agree with all of those sentiments. But also, having loved her for so long makes me that much more aware of what I have lost. My grandfather died several years ago, at 98, and I felt the same way about him.
I have so many cherished memories of my mom's parents. In 1986, they moved in with us. They had an in-law apartment, so they had their own space, but I just had to open a door and walk 8 or ten feet down the hallway to get to their living room. It was, I guess, just kind of special.
My life was a little different from most kids because of them. I had built in baby sitters, but I could basically stay home alone and only get them if I was lonely or needed something. I had a built in corner market. If we didn't have syrup or peanut butter (or more often, ice cream) Armee always did. :) From when I was almost 11 until I went to college, my home was their home. They lived in Worcester MA for the first ten years of my life, so I only saw them a few times a year, but then 1986 happened and suddenly they were there every for everything for the rest of my childhood...Christmas mornings, birthdays, and everything in between.
My brother and sister both left for college in 1989, and the house was so lonely without Chrissy and Charlie. But Armee and Ree Ree loved to spend time with me, and I spent a lot more time over there after they left. I would usually bring my dog Pepper for a visit and would throw her pink porcupine toy from my grandparents living room back across the hall into my parents living room so she could really get her speed up running back and forth playing fetch. We all three enjoyed watching the little toy poodle bound after the porcupine, "Pinky". She would jump over the threshold every time, and that was always good for a smile! Sitting with them, talking to them- it was captivating and uncanny. It was fun and educational. It was special. Horse drawn wagons, The Great Depression, World War II... I know I have forgotten more than I remember, but what I remember makes me so grateful...and makes me feel the loss all the more.
My grandparents had a love story that could rival any. One of the greatest gifts I have is my grandfather's journal. He wrote it back in 1999, when he was a young man of 83. It is basically a memoir. His children and grandchildren were given copies and I have read it cover to cover dozens of times in the past 20 years. When I got the call that Armee had passed away, I pulled it out just to remember again. Remember the stories I used to hear them tell, remember them young and in love, and remember that my Armee and Ree Ree being together in Heaven right now is such good news.
My grandfather was a gifted writer and poet, and his poems about my grandmother have made me cry many tears these last several nights. But they have helped to move my grief from sadness, to happy sadness- remembering their love and their lives, and knowing that they fulfilled their lives dream of growing old together, raising a beautiful family, and doing it well...as any job worth doing is worth doing well.
At the end of his journal my grandfather wrote the following:
"Ginny Grow Old with Me"
It seems so long ago
Written then my verse was meant to be
an anchor on which love could grow
The war is past our family grown
with pride we now can tell
our creed taught daily from the home
of a job worth doing well
My pride in you I want all to know
and my heart for all to see
My love and devotion will ever flow
Indeed you have grown old with me.
My grandparents grew old together in the most beautiful way. It was an honor to have a front row seat.
Until we meet again, Armee. I love you forever.
