Earning Her Words

Last week, a little cold front blew through Orlando. The lows were in the thirties for a few days, and I realized that Taryn would probably not be warm enough at school in just her white cotton sweater. We hit the mall in search of a winter jacket that would be Florida appropriate; not full of down, super insulated, or safe until -32 degrees. Not only are those too expensive, but they are total overkill. If they filled out applications for the job of becoming Taryn's winter coat, they would be officially classified as "over qualified".

It was not an easy task. Meandering through the mall with two small children at Christmastime is fun. But being on a mission to get one thing and get out as fast as possible is a bit more trying. The mall is full of wonder for the kids. The Disney Store, Pillow Pals, the M & M store, and we had to walk by those temptations, and more, on our quest. What was supposed to be one stop turned into four, but we finally found it. A warm-enough-but-not-too-warm winter coat. It was a thick fleece jacket in the style of a pea coat. Adorable on my little four year old angel, and making her look way too grown up for my heart to take. But, the price was right, the kids were at their limits, and we were thankful to find it. We bought it with happy hearts.

On the way home, Taryn told me she liked that her coat was like mine. I have a charcoal grey, wool, pea coat that I have had since before she was born. I was wearing it in the mall that day, when we bought her little fleece version, but I hadn't even thought of that. I smiled, and said, "me too", and that was that.

The next morning I got Taryn dressed for school. Uniform shirt, check. Corduroys, check. New coat, check!!! I asked Taryn if she wanted to button it or not, and that is when her words melted my heart on the spot. "What are you doing with yours?" she asked. "If you are buttoning yours, then I will button mine, but if you aren't, then I won't. I want to be like you". Her words were sweet, and light-hearted, but I could feel their weight. She wants to be like me. Immediately my weaknesses flood my mind, and all I can think is that she can do so much better than to be like me. She just doesn't know it yet!

So, now it is my prayer that I can earn her words. Today, her world is small, and I am her everything. That is all it takes for her to want to be like me. But with each new day, and with every experience her world gets a little bit bigger, and I get less and less impressive. So one of my many prayers in life is that God will guide my steps as I raise my little girl. That He will protect her from the mistakes that I will inevitably make, and that with His help I will live my life in such a way that maybe, some part of her will always want to be like me.