My little girl

I have been reflecting on the incomprehensible fact that my baby girl, Taryn, is almost a whole fist full of fingers old. In nine days, she will be five. She is super excited for cake, and a party, and to grow up. Always wanting to grow up. Sometimes I tease her, and beg her to stop getting older. She gets very serious (as she is wont to do) and says, "Don't worry, Mommy. Even though I am getting older, I will never be too big for you to hold." But she will. I know that someday soon, she will. Still, the pride that I have in her, and the joy of watching her grow up usually drowns out that sad, quiet little voice that is saying goodbye to her babyhood with each passing day. Usually. At birthday time, though, I allow myself the indulgence of a little bit of happy sadness. Laughter mixed with tears! My baby is growing up.

There are so many things that I adore about Taryn. One of my favorites is that she loves her baby brother ferociously. Sometimes literally! I have to count to three and only let her hug him for three seconds because if not, she would never let go, and Trevor feels strongly about that.

I love how funny Taryn is. Most of the time she doesn't try to be funny, she just has this silly, creative mind. When we made turkey cookies for Thanksgiving, she named them Turkey Butt cookies, and when she couldn't figure out how God can see her when she can't see Him, she decided in a split second that He must have huge googly-eyes. I love how her little button of a nose wrinkles all up when she thinks something is really funny, and how she throws her head back when she laughs.

I like how she shouts, "I'm ok" from the other room after I hear her fall down, and I love kissing her boo boos when she isn't ok.

I love her conscience. She confesses everything she does wrong, and it is sweet, and pure and refreshing. I hope she never learns to lie about her mistakes.

I love when Taryn puts on a puppet show for the family. She hides behind the coffee table, but not quite all the way. Her puppet, Puppy, sometimes yells at us to be quiet, and tells Trevor not to get up. And at the end, she says, "Thank you, thank you, thank you". Always three times, and always with a fun "performer" voice, while Puppy takes a bow.

Taryn's dance moves are like none other, but the best thing about them is that she says, "check out my moves" before she dances. She is also a terrific twirler. She spins, and spins, and spins, around and around for minutes on end. She gets dizzy eventually, but it seems to take much longer than it does for me, and she loves every minute of it.

Taryn is a comforter. Sometimes she looks at our 11 year old dog (who she generally pays no attention to) and asks, "Why is Molly sad today?" I always tell her, usually too briskly, "Molly's fine, she's just like she is every day". But then, as I walk away, I hear Taryn saying, "It's ok sweetie pie,you don't have to be sad". Melts my heart right there on the spot. She is that way with Trevor too, rubbing his back if he cries and trying to give him his favorite toys. And if daddy shouts from the garage, and it sounds to be a shout of pain, she runs to the door to say, "What's wrong Daddy? Are you OK? She hasn't learned to tune out other people's pain. I hope she never does.

Taryn loves sweets. She loves ice cream, which I believe she inherited from my mom's side of the family. (Ask them. They will agree!) She loves chocolate, jellybeans, cookies, cakes, lollipops...anything and everything sweet. Except Moon Pies. Those she does not like one bit! She and Trevor were M&M's for Halloween in honor of her adoration of sweets. We don't allow much sugar, but we know that when we do, Taryn is going to be overjoyed.

I love that Taryn isn't typical. She loves airplanes, rockets, trains, and race cars. Her favorite color is blue, and her second favorite is pink. She thinks a lot for a four year old and possibly over-thinks situations that she's concerned about. When she heard the local weatherman on the news tracking the hurricanes in the Gulf we had a three day discussion about what hurricanes are, and how to be safe. Don't get me wrong, it can be exhausting, and it is frustrating sometimes that she won't just BELIEVE me, and let it go. On the other hand, I think it is a neat quality that she wants to make sense of everything, and takes everything to heart. She has been that way since she was a baby! I remember that after a dinner with friends when Taryn was maybe five months old,the friend said, "Jen, your kid is too serious". It's true. Sometimes she is--and I love it. Maybe its because she is also too silly, and too funny, and too sweet, and too compassionate, and too in love with sugar...it just makes sense that she is too serious.

Taryn's baby years were precious. I would not trade them for anything. The four million photos I took, and the five outfit changes per day just to wear all of the cute stuff. She was like a little diva baby! The floppy hats, and the kisses, cuddles, and that baby smell! The big toothless grins, and the fuzzy little head. It seems like yesterday, and I loved yesterday! But today is even more amazing! Today Taryn counts, counts in Spanish, and counts by tens to 100! She rhymes like Dr. Seuss himself, and she is starting to sound out words! She makes me laugh when no one else can, and I love how she thinks my drawings are true works of art. "Wow, Mommy", she always says. "That's amazing!" It amazes me that anyone could look at my art and think anything nice about it, but to my little girl I am amazing! My heart is at least 5 times bigger and more full of love than it was five years ago, and my life is at least 5 million times brighter! If that isn't something to celebrate, then I don't know what is!

Taryn, I could not celebrate this day enough to do it justice if we celebrated it for 365 days straight! Happy birthday! You are my beautiful, bright, growing up-girl, and I love you---right up to the moon and back!