Questions that I can't answer...And the answers I gave.
Sometimes I tell Taryn really bad, long, convoluted answers to simple questions. I tell her way too much information, and then I start rambling...and then I hear myself rambling so I end up stopping and finishing with , "I don't know". I started recording some of these questions and answers, because I like to remind myself how bad I can be at mothering sometimes. :) Note to self, just say " I don't know."
"How big are real Smurfs?"
"Small enough to hollow out mushrooms and make them into houses, maybe two inches tall? I don't know though, because those mushrooms seem bigger than the ones in our yard. Even hollowed out, I can't see fitting windows, fireplaces, and beds inside the mushrooms we have. They could be bigger, Taryn. I don't know."
Why do other kids think water slides are fun, but not me?
"Well, you love water, and you love slides. I don't get that one either, actually. That's something we can ask God when we get to heaven. Maybe you just need to close your eyes sooner? I don't know."
If God knew hurricanes would hurt people why did he make them?
"Well, hurricanes are part of nature, and God did invent nature, and the laws of nature, but he doesn't specifically whip up a hurricane. And really, hurricanes aren't bad, only if we live in a place that ends up in the hurricane's path. So really, you could ask, "why did God make hurricanes" or you could ask "why do we build houses where hurricanes come?" you know? I guess I don't know, Taryn."
Yes, you should feel bad for my children. I'm working on it. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know..."
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The toughest thing...
By far, the toughest thing that I have ever done is to be a Christian.
It sounds stupid, because I live in the good old USA where it is pretty much the norm to be a Christian, but it is SO hard.
I mean, hard to be it. Hard to live it, love it, believe it. Not hard to say it, almost everyone I know says it. But it's hard not just to let it be something I know about in my head, but feel completely removed from. The problem with familiarity is that it leads to a lack of effort. Christianity is very familiar to me. But if I stop putting effort into it, then I fail drastically. One thing Jesus did was always put effort into everything. Every word, every thought, every prayer was fruitful. It was always to accomplish some purpose. Jesus didn't do things halfheartedly. He never rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever". The man sweat blood.
And that reminds me of another thing that is hard. Keeping Jesus real. Knowing that he is not just a cute story on a page. Because after a while, that is what my brain wants to reduce him to. I have many friends from my past who were once Christians, but now they are...not. And I get it. The work it takes to stay in that place where the Bible speaks to me new and fresh every time, and where my heart is willing to love despite my selfish nature wanting to scream, "ME ME ME ME ME!" And not judging Jesus by the people (Christians) who so suck at representing him...just like I often so suck at representing him. So, so hard.
I fail at loving people all the time. But "they know we are Christians by our love", and we should "love our neighbor as ourselves". This means every time I fail at that, I am failing let my life point to Christ. That means most of the time I completely stink at Christianity. That's what makes it so hard.
Ghandi once said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ". Sadly I agree. I am a Christian and I don't like us. How are so many of us so unlike our Christ? How am I so unlike my Christ? It sometimes overwhelms me with sorrow. I say things that I should not say. I think things that I should SO not think. But, I know my Lord. I remember those quiet times, those worshipful times, those funny times when I have heard from God, and I know that He is who he says that he is. I know that He is worth all of the effort it takes to love people, to humble myself and serve when I do not want to.
And as hard as it is, there is no greater happiness than the way that my life works when it is in line with God's word and who he made me to be. So, being is a Christian is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have learned that the most precious things in my life are the things that I had to work the most at. This is no exception.
It sounds stupid, because I live in the good old USA where it is pretty much the norm to be a Christian, but it is SO hard.
I mean, hard to be it. Hard to live it, love it, believe it. Not hard to say it, almost everyone I know says it. But it's hard not just to let it be something I know about in my head, but feel completely removed from. The problem with familiarity is that it leads to a lack of effort. Christianity is very familiar to me. But if I stop putting effort into it, then I fail drastically. One thing Jesus did was always put effort into everything. Every word, every thought, every prayer was fruitful. It was always to accomplish some purpose. Jesus didn't do things halfheartedly. He never rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever". The man sweat blood.
And that reminds me of another thing that is hard. Keeping Jesus real. Knowing that he is not just a cute story on a page. Because after a while, that is what my brain wants to reduce him to. I have many friends from my past who were once Christians, but now they are...not. And I get it. The work it takes to stay in that place where the Bible speaks to me new and fresh every time, and where my heart is willing to love despite my selfish nature wanting to scream, "ME ME ME ME ME!" And not judging Jesus by the people (Christians) who so suck at representing him...just like I often so suck at representing him. So, so hard.
I fail at loving people all the time. But "they know we are Christians by our love", and we should "love our neighbor as ourselves". This means every time I fail at that, I am failing let my life point to Christ. That means most of the time I completely stink at Christianity. That's what makes it so hard.
Ghandi once said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ". Sadly I agree. I am a Christian and I don't like us. How are so many of us so unlike our Christ? How am I so unlike my Christ? It sometimes overwhelms me with sorrow. I say things that I should not say. I think things that I should SO not think. But, I know my Lord. I remember those quiet times, those worshipful times, those funny times when I have heard from God, and I know that He is who he says that he is. I know that He is worth all of the effort it takes to love people, to humble myself and serve when I do not want to.
And as hard as it is, there is no greater happiness than the way that my life works when it is in line with God's word and who he made me to be. So, being is a Christian is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have learned that the most precious things in my life are the things that I had to work the most at. This is no exception.
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