Be Nice.

"Be nice". I have said it to Taryn so many times, and to Trevor about a million more times. It seems like such a simple thing. When I say "be nice", my five year old gets it. It means, don't take things without asking, and don't laugh at people when they make a mistake. Don't stick your tongue out at anyone, and don't tattle on someone who isn't perfect. Don't tell other kids that that they can't play with you, or walk away when they sit with you. Share. Smile. Forgive. Be nice.

I think sometimes we think that if we are not being mean, then we are being nice. I completely disagree. Being mean requires a hurtful act, but being unkind just involves the failure to act...kindly. And, one could argue, the failure to act kindly is...mean. To be unkind is to not take advantage of the chance to be kind. It is being...nothing. You know, just being there. Not smiling when you could, not speaking when you could, not showing an interest, not making eye contact. We have all said it, "I didn't do anything wrong." But sometimes, just not "doing anything" is wrong.

I can honestly tell you that very few people in my life have been mean to me, (besides Amy in high school who I am still traumatized from) but a small fraction have been nice. Being nice demands action. Smiling, saying hello when someone walks past you, stopping to hold the door when someone is coming with their hands full -even if they are far enough behind that stopping requires you to do some awkward waiting until they get there. If you let someone pass without being kind to them, then you have not been mean, but you have been unkind.

Don't worry, you aren't alone. I have been unkind too. I have been tired, nay, exhausted. I have been busy...so busy. I have been "have to copy three tests, drop off lunch to my daughter, unlock my car so that my husband can pick it up, stop and use the restroom, and be back to my room in 10 minutes" busy. And so, I have been unkind. I tell myself I am just so busy...but I have not been too busy to be kind. That's just an excuse. I have been too selfish to be kind.

I have been thinking about people who have been nice to me. The list is lovely, but in the course of my whole life, not that long. I am going to start a blog series on the nice people in my life because I think "nice" is worth celebrating. I also think that "mean" cannot be excused, and "unkind" should be fired from every job it ever has. Nothing has hurt me more in my life than unkind. Not even Mean Amy from high school who traumatized me. I have been embittered, jaded, judging, and insecure all because of unkind. I have felt like an outsider, and like I don't belong all because of unkind. I have likely made others feel that way too.

So, to my Nice-ies, those people who took the time to act on my behalf, thank you. You inspire me. You make my world, THE world, a happier place, and you deserve to be celebrated. On those days when my burdens are heavy, like carrying a 24 pack of bottled water and a three year old at the same time, you are my shopping cart. You don't take my burdens away, but you make them much more bearable. I adore you for that, and I aim to pay it forward. :)