Happy Birthday Trevor!

There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.

– Washington Irving

My baby boy turns four tomorrow. You would think he is going to be old enough to by lottery tickets or to vote with the enthusiasm and excitement that he has for turning four! He has been asking us since May, when Taryn turned 6, how long until his birthday. (Trust me, it has been a long 4 months). He wants nothing more than to be big! And I am proud of him and the boy he is becoming...but I remember my baby.

I remember when all of him fit in the crook of my arms. I remember his hot, sweet breath and the way his tiny body moved up and down so peacefully on my chest when he would fall asleep with me on the couch. "Don't let him sleep on you", they always said, "or he will never sleep alone." I am glad I didn't listen to them because I would hate to not have that memory. If I close my eyes I can still feel the comforting weight of him on me as he slept. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. All I could do was rub his soft baby head, and stare at his perfect little nose and tiny little eyelashes. I remember how he still didn't have any teeth on his first birthday, even though he could talk. I was worried...it seemed like teeth should precede a conversation about brushing teeth. :) I'll never forget when he got so sick, with a high, scary fever and he just wanted to be held. I held him and cried for him as he looked up at me with his little shaky body and told me he was feeling better. He always feels better when I hold him. I always feel better too.

So, on his fourth birthday, I will tell Trevor that he is amazing, and getting so big! I will marvel at how smart and strong and brave he is. I will notice that every day he is getting more and more like Daddy. He always gets a little attitude when I call him my baby, but I will explain to him again that it is just a mommy thing because he will always be my baby. Last time, he seemed ok with that. And, on his fourth birthday I will tell myself to breathe. To remember that growing up is what he is designed to do. I can cherish his beautiful baby years, all the while enjoying his growing up years. I mean,he isn't moving out just yet! (Although, I suspect he would if we told him he could). Mostly, I will celebrate the joy and love that his life has brought to mine, and to so many others.

"Happy Birthday, little Trev. You are perfect. Thank you for making my heart smile."

Love, Mommy