DREAM

When I was pregnant with Taryn, and I was painting things to decorate her nursery, one thing I did was to purchase the wooden letters D-R-E-A-M and paint them pink and white. I strung them on some wire and hung the word, DREAM over her crib. There was green ribbon decorating it in random places, and I hung it from two pink nails, loosely, so that it was in the shape of a smile, with the ends higher than the middle. Her room is painted green with pink accessories and white trim, so it tied in all of the colors nicely. That seemed really important back when I was about to have my first baby, but now seems like the last thing I should have been thinking about! I remember being hugely pregnant with Taryn, and sitting in her nursery with my mind spinning with anxious anticipation of what my first little baby would be like. I would sit in what would be her rocking chair, look at that word on her wall, and dream about who this little person would be.

After Taryn was born I spent long nights in her room, as all mother's do. Whether it was rocking her in the chair, half-sleeping through her midnight feedings, or reading stories and cuddling, "DREAM" always made me smile. To me, then, it was mostly a hope for sweet dreams at night for her...and me. Oh how vaguely I remembered sleeping deeply enough, and long enough to dream.

Time has passed, and Taryn has long since left her crib, her rocking chair, and her midnight feedings behind (woohoo!), but DREAM still hangs on her wall. When she started reading last year, she read it to me one night at bedtime. "D-R-E-A-M, dream. Why does my wall say dream Mom?" I thought the answer would be simple, but as I began explaining I realized how much I have have tied up in that single syllable. In the simplest sense, I do want her to dream, and dream sweetly, every time she lays down to sleep. But I also pray for her a life of one dream after another. A heart that believes in her possibility and potential so much that she always has big, brave, dreams to chase. I hope that many of her dreams come true, and I hope that some of them don't. There is nothing worse than someone who has not known enough disappointment in life. I hope that she dares to dream even when she fails, because the successful people are the ones who keep dreaming. I pray that Taryn's life is directed by her dreams, and that her dreams are inspired by positive influences and people in her life, as well as her intrinsic gifts and talents. That was a lot to tell her that night at bedtime, but I tried. In six year old words. She just smiled, and said she liked it. I was glad.

At about the time that Taryn turned seven, we did a little bit of a mini makeover in her room. She got new bedding that was a little more grown up, and a coordinating painting for the wall. There was one other coordinating decoration, an art hanging display, with wooden shapes on it that went with her bedding. It was strung on string and was almost the exact length of DREAM. I would have hung perfectly in its place, in the shape of a smile, and was a little more grown up than the little word that I have smiled at all these years. I thought Taryn would love it. It went with her room, and she would think it was awesome to hang her art and pictures on her wall. It was on sale last time I was at the store, and I had it in my cart. I realized though, standing in aisle at Target with tears starting to blur my vision, that I am not ready to part with DREAM yet. It's just wood, and paint, but it symbolizes one of the most enduring longings that my heart has held for my kids.

I know that nothing would change if DREAM came down. I would still pray for the same things, and talk to Taryn about the importance of her dreams. I just decided that for as long as I can see it there, and it can make me and Taryn smile, there it will stay. Her art looks just fine on the fridge. :)