That Sucks.

My sister hates the expression, "that sucks". She still calls sucks the 'S' word. And even now, as I am approaching 38 years old I have to apologize to her before or after I say it because I know that she is not happy to hear me incorporate that word choice into my conversations with her.

Even though I don't declare things to be "sucky" all that often, in an attempt to use more descriptive and sister-pleasing vocabulary words, I must say that I am an expert on "suckiness".

I have lived an absolutely blessed life. My parents are still married after 44 years. My maternal grandparents who have lived with my parents since I was 11 are still alive at 97 and 90 years old. My sister, Chrissy, is my best friend and is always there for me, and my brother is one of the greatest guys I have ever been around. He is talented, handsome, and almost as funny as me. I have a hilarious husband, Jayme, and was lucky enough to find him at a young age and be in the process of growing old with him. My kids are healthy and happy, and Jayme and I both have jobs that allow us to make ends meet with a little extra for fun times. There is no room for me to complain or to say that I know pain, but I do know "suckiness". (Sorry, Chrissy).

For me "suckiness" is only seeing my parents and grandparents once a year. My grandparents have long outgrown their comfort with traveling, and my parents, as their main caregivers are not able to leave them for long enough to make the trip down to FL to see us. For a family of four to fly from Orlando to Maine is quite expensive, and with full time jobs we just can't get away all that often. I love to hug them, laugh with them, watch Wheel of Fortune with them, and see the twinkle in their eyes. And I hate saying goodbye. There is nothing good about it. Life is fragile and fleeting. We are never promised tomorrow, and every goodbye could be our last. It is true every day of my life, but since I see my Maine family so scarcely, I feel like it is more possible with them. Quite frankly, saying goodbye, and not knowing when you will see someone again is "sucky".

"Suckiness" is my salary. I am blessed. I do something I love. I teach at a private school and I get to teach kids Math, Science, and Bible. I love it! I love working with kids, and they humble me every day. I have been a tiny little part of hundreds of life stories, and they are a part of mine. Each student I have taught has added something to my life, and I have the hope that I have added something good to theirs. However, it sucks that I make so little money and have no pension. The fact that I don't get regular raises, or have a salary that can compare with the public schools in the area is just plain sad. I will have to work until I die since I have no retirement. That is "sucky".

"Suckiness" is lizards in my house. I am not a fan. I find them gross and ugly and would be happy for them to live off in the distance somewhere, but when they get too close it sucks. Taryn stomped one accidentally on the patio when she was two. Blood and guts exploded from it all over her foot. I had to clean that up! That sucked. Snakes in the house sucks too...I have had them IN MY KITCHEN twice and on my patio countless times. Wild reptiles in my house pushes me to my limit.

I have an idea for an invention, the Groovy Movie Cootie Cover. I have no idea how to make it a reality, and my husband thinks there is no market for it. That sucks. I would love to be on QVC peddling my Groovy Movie Cootie Cover nationwide. An in ability to pursue my dreams sucks. Whether it be an invention to keep small children from getting folded up inside of movie seats, or writing professionally, in just about any capacity, not living out a realistic dream is kind of "sucky".

The thing is that my list of stuff that sucks is nothing special. We all have could have a list like mine. We have friends we miss, jobs that might not completely meet our ideal standards, kids that might be challenging our parental wisdom, arthritis, and persistent gray hair. Life is never going to be perfect on this imperfect planet. We can be real about our suck factors, and even occasionally commiserate with our friends, but let it be in balance with the acknowledgement of our many blessings. People know true pain in this world. Sickness, starvation, war. Life is really bad for some. However, if it is not really bad for you, don't try to force your way into that club. "Suckiness" is just that. It is a tremor in a world of earthquakes, and a windy day in a world of tornadoes. "Suckiness" is how you know your life is really pretty good.