Life Is Full of Problems

If there is one thing that teaching Math has taught me, it is that life is full of problems. :) It has also shown me that we have to solve our problems ourselves, but that in the best situation we have someone to help us through the tough ones. Today in Math, I heard myself talking to my students and my words almost made me have to sit myself down for a moment, and take a deep breath. I very seldom cause my own epiphanies, but in this case I kind of did.

The kids were were wimping out on their math problems. Maybe if you aren't a teacher, you aren't familiar with this phenomenon, but most parents who have helped their kids with math will relate. In fact, most people who ever hated a math problem will relate. It is the thing that happens when kids are asked to do a math problem that doesn't jump up and write the answer on the paper for them. You know the kind- maybe two step problems, or (AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH) the dreaded word problem. Anyway, we had gone over the new concepts together, and had done a few practice problems as a class. It was time for them to do some without my guidance. I had just barely gotten the words out of my mouth, "Go ahead and try the next three on your own", when six hands flew up and an additional three kids blurted out, "I don't get it."

That's when I said it. The words that echoed in my being. "Stop being afraid of the struggle. Stop giving up when things look like they will take more than two seconds to finish. You haven't even tried yet. I am here to help when you get part way through and get stuck, but I am not here to do every single thing for you. Do you know when you learn? That's right. When you you struggle. When you wrestle with something difficult; when you work through the questions, and the confusion and fight to "get it" anyway---that is the kind of learning that stays with you forever. You want so badly for it to be easy, or for me to rescue you when it might be getting hard, and that is why you don't believe that you can do it. Do it once. Then you will know you can do it the next time." I was talking fast. I was feeling frustrated and passionate. I'm pretty sure most of my 11 year old audience tuned me out once they realized the point of my little talk was that they weren't getting answers, but still...I had said something profound. Even if I was the only one who heard it.

Now, mind you, I was just talking about a math problem, but hearing that message in my own mind- those words carried a much greater weight. What powerful words for life! What a truth. We don't want to face struggles. I don't want them in my life, and I don't want them for anyone I know or love. Why would any of us hope for things to ever be hard? Struggling is uncomfortable, and scary, and it would be so much nicer for someone who knows the next step to just take over life for us until we get through the rough patches. But when WE do it. When we work through our questions, and confusion, and fear, and press on despite those things, then we see what we are capable of. We get through one thing, and then we begin to trust that we can get through more things. Before long, we grow. We learn. And little by little we become that strong person that we wanted to have rescue us in the first place.

I am facing struggles today. I don't know anyone who isn't. That simple fact keeps me humble, and trying to be kind. It keeps me grateful for my "someones" to lean on: my God, my family, my friends. At the same time it keeps me hoping to be that "someone" for others. We aren't doing something wrong if we are facing a hard time. That just means we are alive. Life's students, facing another word problem, of sorts. It won't do any good to try to avoid the struggle. We must face what lies before us, but we do need each other. Just like my students need me when they get right smack in the middle of a problem and can't go on. We don't need someone to take the pencil for us and do the work, but rather to be there just to refocus us, and ask us the right questions, and inspire us to take the next step when we are ready.

One step at a time...just like in Math. Before long, that problem we were just afraid of will be behind us, and we can tackle the next one.

"The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse."
-Helen Keller